Legend of the Lightbringer: Epilogue

Wait, why is the epilogue first?

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There is a hole there now, for all of us.

It was impossible for there not to be one. For someone like that… someone with so much life… his sudden disappearance left a void. Where once there was a strong and powerful lifeforce, now there was… nothing.

Lug and Crow theorized for days as to where he’d gone. Lug suggested, rather half-heartedly, that he had just gone after all the demons, to finish with them once and for all. None of us believed that; Esre knew as well as we did that demons could never truly disappear from the world. He was reckless and wild, but not stupid.

Crow thought that somehow the earth had taken him. The last place he had been, after all, was within the heart caverns. It was true that the world had changed the same day they said he disappeared. The demons had fled – some almost said were thrown – to the outer fringes of known territory, and the places they had infested were beginning to heal. It was a good possibility, she said, and Lug agreed with her.

And me? I said nothing, but I thought many things.

I couldn’t help feeling guilty. If he had truly gone to the earth, then it was to undo what I had done. No one was blaming me, and that made it worse. If they had blamed me, then I could have felt guilty, and been able to try and make amends. It’s not that there wasn’t work to do now; the devil machines had to be found and destroyed, and there was plenty of rebuilding to be done in the now-empty demon villages.

But…

Everything just feels unresolved. I almost wish Esre would come back, just to say, “It’s your fault”. No… I do wish he would come back. Even if he came back to kill me, it would be enough to know that he was alive. It’s not right, that I, who nearly wrecked the world, am alive, while he, who saved the world, is… not.

It’s more than that. Lug, Crow, Cimah, the Swryn… none of them mention it, but I know they feel it, too. Lug and Crow were like his parents, Cimah his rival, and the Swryn… he may not have been their leader in name, but they all look up to him, especially the terrible trio. Rais, Lew, and Mim… they were the ones who upheld his innocence during the time he was exiled from Heaven. They were so sure that they even got thrown in jail for it, rather than quit supporting Esre. They practically worshipped him.

There is a hole in the world, and I put it there. Because I thought I could control the world, with enough magic, enough skill… I was arrogant and idiotic, and now Esre is gone because he fixed my mistake. I have taken him away from everyone.

There is only one thing I can do now. The devil machines… they are the start of all this. If the devil machines are destroyed and forbidden, then maybe… just maybe… this will never have to come to pass again.

I know now what I must do.

~ by Danielle on September 21, 2008.